Life is Constantly Changing: So Should We.

God, Its been a while since I've updated this, huh? 

Where do I begin, where to start.  

Well, If any of you fuckfaces actually cared; My summer was the best and most fucked up I've ever had.
Half of it was spent with my toker buddy and fucking guys like a whore.

I guess that's probably how I should begin.

You see, it all changed one night when I was fucking this guy, he had a girlfriend. I didn't even care.
I was too numb and dead and didn't give a shit about anything. And, this moment happened.
We were walking home, and this guy showed up. He had this feeling to him, It resembled something of, how do I put it...
Feeling. 

He had these eyes, you know? They were like ice formed into diamonds. And they brought me back to life, something that'd long been dead.

His name is Justin. 

We met up a few times, smoked some tree,  Exchanged numbers. See where this is leading?
It was like every story I had come to remorse and despise.

But it happened; we met up alone; away from the disgusting whore and slimeball I was screwing around with then.
We walked around this college I live by, and he blew my mind. He could understand and think on my level. Theorize my ideas on quantum physics (A post I will make later,) and what life may really be, whats after death, what death is.

He inspired a feeling in me that day, I remember it so very vividly.

We were just coming out of this parking lot, it was sunny and bright out, and his hair was golden. 

Those diamond eyes saw right through me, pierced the layers of deadness and decay within myself.

I fell In love right then.

Now, here's where it gets tricky; Because I still had this strong desire to abstain from all love, from all relationships.

I didn't, or, maybe couldn't possibly believe in this hormonal reaction we've all come to know as 'love'.

A mixture of chemicals and electricity within our brains that create "feelings." But I've come to learn many things from this man, Justin. One of which, is how to differentiate between REAL FEELINGS, and HORMONES.

About 3 weeks later he asked me out, his first girlfriend. 

Isn't that just adorable? The virgin boy falling in love with the dead whore. 

Lets call It Frankensteins' lover.

How long has it been? Oh dear lord, Eight Months.

Eight months of raging sex, weed, and rebuilding.

Got some new friends, better friends, burned the rest.
Friends I can get fucked up with, friends I can count on. And friends that can count on me.

Turnes out though, I'm dating a high school celebrity, Oh, that always leads to some 'fun' dispositions with other whores. In any case, My life is damn good, 

There are downsides, upsides, but thats just how it goes normally.

Now, I'm not gunna pretend to think that any of you people possibly reading this actually give a fuck, After all, this is the internet. But, I will say that I'm grateful for everything I have. and all the bad shit that's happened; I rightfully deserve all their wrath. 


But its easter, a happy day to celebrate someone dying and resurrecting themselves in the name of "God."
My boyfriend is at his family house, playing with his nephews, and I'm at home, Listening to the cunt of a woman who birthed this wreck, bitch about everything she doesn't have. What a wonderful day, right?
But, its all good. Life doesn't always meet your expectations, doesn't mean that the day is worthless.
Now, I don't know what any of you are planning, but I'm gunna light up, sit back, and play my guitar for a while.
Hey, why don't you guys get off the computer and spend time with your families? You may find their just slightly more tolerable then last time.

So Get Blazed People!

and, as always,

Suck it bittersweet, bitches.

Life Finally Turning Around: About damn time!

Well, the title says it all friends. And I'm glad for it.

I realised that I don't need a relationship, I can live without it.

Any mostly, my life never depended on anything of the sorts.

However, I do know that this summer is gunna be the time of my life.

Awesome friends, better parties, and of course, a shit ton of fun.

My best friend, (I call her my sissy) pretty much set me up with a fuck buddy.

A guy she obviously knew I thought was cute. The guy, amazingly enough, she's known for a while.

Like I said, I've got a *fun* summer ahead of me.

Best-friend-fuck-buddies? Yeah, lets go with that.

New obsessions, new life.

New me.

Same old bitchiness. That ain't gunna change anytime soon.

Life needs to kick people in the ass sometimes; people become too ignorant or engrossed in their so called 'problems'.

So I'm gunna live my life to the fullest. if that means getting scolded by some angry parents, taking a trip to the hospital, or maybe even breaking a few hearts--then so be it.

My life focused so much on other people before.

Even though I would say "It's MY life!"

It really wasn't. And I'm changing that now.

No better time like the present right? And summer being here-- I couldn't ask for a better time.

So lets make this the best few months possible!

Keep it bittersweet, bitches!

Time To Update: Fuck Life You Whore

So, Life pretty much screwed me over.

In the past few months that I was gone, I was off groveling pathetically like a weakling because My ex-boyfriend(Thats right, ex)was either working, or abandoning me.

We had one nice day, and it fell to shit cause my whore of a mother went on mega-menopause-mode. (I'm labeling this Extream constant PMS annoyance as MMM)

Long story short, shit hit the fan.

He broke up with me.

I groveled, I cried, Hell, being upset sent me to the hospital for a couple of days. (A post to be made at a later [soon] date)

Luckilly the morphine seemed to numb out my own pain, and at least let me get on.

No more of this "I can't believe he took eveything and smashed it on the floor" Bullshit.

So, I hit a wall, and instead of merely climbing over.

Lets say I took a bomb to it. The wall is of-no-more.

And with newfound freedom, comes newfound lonliness and fun.

Such as fuck-buddies and Parties.

Never really been a party person, but why not try it a few more times.

In the meantime, Schools almost out (wewt, 12 more days!)

And that means

*dun dun dun dun!*

Summer fun bitches.

And for once, I'm gunna let all out.

Suck it bittersweet, bitches.

Idea Post: Current Thoughts

I'm getting this idea from the song of the week, which you see posted to your right: "Hands held High" by Linkin Park.
It brings up a topic that people could find a bit touchy: War.
There are two types of war, just war, and unjust war.
The main quote people should pay attention to right now is "When the rich wage war, it's the poor who die."
War is necessary , It is the thing that gave us our (certainly diminishing) rights and freedom. Without it, we would still be in the grasp of britain. Hell, without war, there would still be slaves and torturing.
People focus on the main folleys of war, without realising its true benifit and reason. Without a fight, there can be no resolution, no hope, no life.

That is just war, The war for freedom, the war for protection, and the war for standing up for what you believe in.

Unjust war however, brings up the main subject. The focus of this quote that I had you pay attention too.
War started for monetary gain, for the sheer suspicion of threats, for a simple disagreement. This is the wrong war, this is the war that makes every death meaningless. Every drop of blood shed for this is a waste of human life and flesh and time.
Stupidity, greediness, selfishness, and all around idiocracy. That is what starts war, this is what starts the pain and suffering we all have to go too.
Just a little food for thought... Tell me your ideas.

Suck It bittersweet, bitches.

The Deffinition Of...

Insanity. I'm sick and fucking tired of people doing this shit: doing somehting they thought they liked or loved, something happened, they hate it, leave it permanently, then somehow end up doing it agian with enjoyment.
A good example? Relationships. Say a girl goes out with a guy, and they date for a while, but the guy breaks it off, and the girl hates him for it. but hes still playing her like he has been for the longest time. So that hatred lingers on, till the boy once again tricks that stupid girl into loveing him again. And then it happens again, and again, and again.

The very deffinition of insanity people, is doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result. The guy is of course at fault for being a manipulative dickface, but the girl is just fucking stupid. She keeps falling for it over and over expecting a different result. This, my friends, is one of the types of idiots I most hate.

People don't realise their mistakes from the past, and keep doing it, never changing, thinking everythign willl tunr out fine if they just keep going and don't pay attention. Well, sorry, but theres a railing on the road and you've just about hit it. If you hit a brick wall, do you keep hitting it? Or do you not stop and go, "Oh, theres a brick wall there, maybe I should go around." 
This is what those idiots do, they act like the cartoon that just keeps getting up and hitting that wall again.

The majority of people do this, its even written in history, politcal attempts gone wrong, but new leaders make the same mistakes and do it agian, or people building in places that flood or get destroyeed every year.
Theres a difference between being stubborn, sticking up for yourself, and being just plain stupid.

With hope that even the small amout of people who read this actually give a shit:

Suck it bittersweet, bitches.

Valentines Day Blitz:First Time Wonder

So, this valentines day was the first time I've ever done anything special with anyone. I was expecting something low key from my man, but he outdid himself. Got me an adorable card, made me melt, got me a heart shaped box of chocolates, we had planned to go skating at some rink before we found out that all the places were closing early, we stood outside in the rain for an hour while his sister came to pick us up. That wasn't too bad though, because we agreed to go on this weekend. (I kickass when it comes to iceskating!)
Then he suprised me by taking me to my favorite Pizza place: Old chicago, and we roamed the city for an hour while we waited for my ride to come. At home, we snuggled and played around: Said I love you for the first time :)

I may be straight-minded, and I may believe this holiday is just a fake Hallmark advartisement. But This day turned out amazing anyways.
I'm lucky to have a guy as amazing as him <3
Through all of this, I notised something... He knows me better than anyone does.
Anyone and Everyone else, I can easily fool, When I'm in pain, or upset, its pretty easy for me to diverse everyone away from me, I dont let people around me when I get like that.
But he knows exactly whats going on, he won't let me be alone. And its kind of nice.
He recognnises the things i do when I get some way. Like if I'm upset he knows cause I'll be abnormaly quiet or have some distictive look on my face. When I want to say something, but then decide against it, he knows and won't stop bugging me till I let it out.
Hes that person Ive been looking for, that person who does what I need him to, knows me better than I know myself, and i know him pretty well too. For once... I feel complete.
Kinda a nice Valentines day huh? :3

Suck it bittersweet, bitches.

Lets talk about Jobs:Good and bad

So, I alwasy here everyone saying "Oh when I graduate colledge and highschool and everything I'm gunna go directly to go get an awesome job!"
Well, I'm kinda opposed actually. When im done doing everything I need to, I think I'll go and get a totaly shitty job. Something like working at a grocery store or a fast food place, maybe a bar.
Bartenders hear all sorts of crazy shit. and the pay for them (sometimes) Isn't too shabby.
Sence I plan on majoring in culinary or soem kind of art anyways, its not that far of a shot.
Maybe after a few years of working shit-face jobs and dealing with annoying idiots that i wanna punch in the face.. Then I'l go get a good or decent job.

Some of you may think I'm being sarcastic, but I have logic to what I'm doing:
People dont know a good thing when its gone.
So whos to say that once you get a really amazing job, first hand, tht your really going to appreciate it?
Hell, even working at Inn-n-out gets you paid 12 bucks an hour.

And to top it off. People just go out and try tog et the best life immediatly. I wanna take the bumps, experiance everything I can.
Weather its taking the long way home, or going to a party that may not be the best idea at the time.
Life life to the fullest.

Suck it bittersweet, bitches.